Hello, my friend!
Maybe things not working out is just fine.
This week’s newsletter is on finding compassion, and a book reminding us of softness and humanity. Enjoy! xoxoxo
↓ In today’s email:
- This week’s inspiration: A place for flexibility
- Latest blog post: Hand on Heart
- What I’m reading: Small Rain by Garth Greenwell
This Week’s Inspiration: A Place for Flexibility
Photograph by Sasha Israel.
Despite my stringent cancellation policy, the bride frantically texted, "I won’t make it!" She’d left Manhattan at 4 or 5 a.m., but now the traffic was piling up, and her full-body lymphatic drainage treatment would be missed at the last minute.
Facing two hours of twiddling my thumbs, I thought to myself, "Do I charge her?" On one hand, somebody might say, "Absolutely!" But she’s a bride-to-be. Ugh. So freaking stressful! So with grace, I didn’t charge her, and like Tetris, I created a space for her later.
Nobody wants to start a wedding weekend, even one marked by a nor’easter, with a bill for a missed appointment.
All of this came back to me as a gift: a perfect September morning, and a two-hour window to discard more pragmatic things for a walk. I passed Picnic on Bellevue, owned by my Danish friend Jon, and peered into the window of my hairstylist, Frank, who keeps me from looking homeless.
Then Pescadou, another friend’s restaurant at The Viking Hotel. (I’m told the chicken tagine is great, and I can’t wait to try it.) All the while I was stretching my legs, giving way to freedom.
I may have saved the bride an aneurysm, and perhaps a speeding ticket, but what she gave me was time. So much in our lives is transactional and rigid. So this week I’m asking you: Is there a place for flexibility, and perhaps extra kindness?
Report back.
Latest Blog Post
Hand on Heart: What the High Holy Days Taught Me About Self-Compassion
Photograph by Sasha Israel.
This past week marked one of the most important Jewish holidays: Yom Kippur. As I stood next to my friend, we reached the part of the service called the Al Chet, the confession. Traditionally, you strike your chest with a fist as each wrongdoing is named.
But I noticed something. My hand didn’t pound. It rested over my heart. I realized, in the season of self-reflection, my major sin has been only one of self-abandonment.
Most of us don’t walk around consciously thinking I hate myself. But we apologize. Constantly. "I’m sorry my feet are gross." "I’m sorry, I didn’t shave my legs."
As we move forward, how do we cultivate real kindness toward ourselves?
What I’m Reading This Week
Small Rain by Garth Greenwell
I know we’re going deep in this newsletter. I hope that’s okay. Let’s keep going!
This book was a gift from a dear friend. At first, I had some reticence because, thematically, it’s a hard read. But I’m almost finished reading it a second time. Why? Because the payoff at the end is so good. It leaves you with a sweetness for life, in spite of its problems, and a willingness to call the people just to say, "Thank you for being in my life!"
The narrator tells the story of nearly losing his life to an aortic tear during the COVID lockdown. There’s kindness and fear, and even terror at a nurse who may be predatory, or maybe just incompetent. There’s a wistfulness for his normal life and for his relationship with his partner.
And when you come to the end? You feel like you’ve endured something together.
I’ve linked to Bookshop here, but I have to say the audio version is quite good. It may even be easier to take in than the print copy, since the book uses very few paragraph breaks. We’re talking one per page, maybe two. 📚
Wishing you a great week ahead, and my hope is that this storm is peacefully behind us :)
Dr. Catherine